She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
