he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
