There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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