Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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