okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
