i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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