32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
