spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
