She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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