tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
