update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
