I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
