I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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