ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
