he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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