I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Fuck appropriateness.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
