it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
