I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
