his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
