dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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