i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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