i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
