I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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