haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
