You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
