I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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