I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
