I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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