You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
