I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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