If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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