Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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