I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize