so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So here I am, sexting at work.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
