I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
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