I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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