oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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