Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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