sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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