morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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