I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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