How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
