so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
