so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
this hospital has no fireball
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
