wrigley field is MILF paradise
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
