I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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