New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
