I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
