What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
