and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Who died my cat blue again?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
