in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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