I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
