the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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