One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
