The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
