We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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