We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
