so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
